this is about lying–not rest
I’m working on some fresh content on rest to speak to a group of women at a sister church in our town.
I didn’t choose the topic. I not only didn’t choose the topic, but I didn’t want to speak on the topic of rest.
In fact, when I chatted with the contact from the church after already agreeing to come speak but not knowing what they wanted me to speak on, I slumped in my seat at the mention of speaking on rest. I just went ahead and openly confessed, “I can come teach the Bible, but I’m going to feel like a fraud when it comes to the application.”
I’ve even written a few posts in the last few months on rest and margin, which is good (and they contained truth), but even as I posted the one on margin, I thought to myself, “I’m a fraud.”
My life is, at times, jam-packed with little to no margin. I believe in margin, and I know it works. But there are times (granted, not all the time) when my everyday life and the idea of rest are incongruent.
And I’m not very good at faking it. If I’m teaching or writing on something, I’m probably not going to tell you I’ve experienced something or learned something that I haven’t. I don’t have time for that, and I’d rather add actual value to your life.
But, this post is about lying–not rest.
Here’s what I mean–You and I are being lied to.
I got off the phone the other day, having been asked to speak on rest. I was immediately condemned and ashamed and labeling myself with names like “Fraud.” I felt entirely inadequate and unusable.
I was being lied to by the Enemy, and I felt paralyzed.
Until God, in all of His mercy, whispered to my heart, “Bobi Ann, you’re only a fraud; if you don’t let me use this moment, this opportunity to transform your heart and further sanctify the ongoing work I’m doing in you.”
You see, it would be tempting to have said, “Nope, sorry, I can’t come speak to your group on rest.” But, I knew God had asked for my yes.
When I gave God my yes, the enemy tried another strategy–deception.
You see, I am a fraud if I get up in front of a group of women and pretend I’ve perfected enjoying the rest God has invited me into. But, I’m not a fraud if I stand alongside some other women and remind them of God’s compassion for me to use His assignments to draw me back to Himself in this area where I struggle. As I’ve prepared and studied, God has done just what He promised to do. He turned my heart upside down and shone a light on specific areas where I wasn’t trusting Him.
I’ve had more than one woman tell me recently with tears filling her eyes, “I’d love to help with this or that, but I feel like a fraud.”
I heard the exact words the enemy had whispered to me coming out of the mouths of women I love so dearly and am called to serve, and I knew I had to say something.
I couldn’t let the enemy get away with enslaving women who are redeemed and invited to live in freedom and the abundance that comes from fulfilling the unique purposes and assignments He has for them because they were listening and believing a lie.
Now, don’t get me wrong, if I got up and stood before a group of women and told them all the things about God’s design for our rest but didn’t allow God to change me or transform me when it comes to my own life, I would be a fraud, and I would be living in sin.
If you have room to grow and learn and change, it doesn’t make you a fraud. It makes you clay in the potter’s hand. It means that God isn’t done. (Philippians 1:6)
Your job (and mine) is to yield to the transforming work God is doing and reject the lies of the enemy that would paralyze you from being His instrument of peace and good news.
Is there a lie the enemy has told you that you believed, and it’s keeping you from God’s transformative work? If you can’t think of anything, find some stillness (and rest) with God and ask Him to reveal anything you might have missed.
Cheering you on, Friends.