how to make your kids uncomfortable

how to make your kids uncomfortable

Life is comfortable when you separate yourself from people who are different from you…But God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.

Francis Chan

School started for the younger 2 people who live in my house this week and it didn’t start quite like we had originally hoped. All the buzz this summer was about how this year was going to be better–more normal and by all indications, it seemed that was going to be the case.

We visited both kids’ school on Monday afternoon, met teachers and mapped out schedules. We were getting excited, maybe it really was going to be “more normal.”

But approximately 2 hours later-less than 48 hours before school was to begin–our school system mandated masks for everyone and our hope for normal was deflated. At least one of my kids cried and I cried with them. I wasn’t really mad as much as I was sad.

But after I let it sink in, I went into fix-it mode. I thought, surely, I could scout out a better, more comfortable situation for my kids so they didn’t have to endure another year (or however long we are going to do this) of hard.

And then God whispered to my heart and we began a conversation:

God: “Who do you want to raise?

Me: “excuse me?

God repeated to my heart: “Who do you want to raise?

Me: “I want to raise a man and woman who love and trust You, who are strong and courageous.”

God: “Are you sure?”

Me: “I think so…I mean, yes, I want to raise a man and woman who love and trust You and who are strong and courageous.”

God: “If you are serious, then I’m going to have to make them uncomfortable–maybe even hurt them.”

I sighed and immediately stopped trying to fix it because this isn’t the first time God and I have had a conversation like this.

You see, I innately want to protect, love and offer comfort for my kids. Nobody had to teach me to do this. When my children were babies and they cried, I responded. I am wired (and so are you) to bring resolution to my children’s pain and discomfort.

However, as Jared and I raise these 2 people God entrusted us with, He is asking us to teach them that:

One, personal comfort is not the ultimate goal. God’s glory is always the ultimate goal and sometimes the route to God’s glory requires discomfort.

Two, in the midst of discomfort, God is the One we can rely on.

In my time alone with the Lord this week, He reminded me of this truth from His word:

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.”

Psalm 20:7

We might say it this way, “some trust in comfort and societal peace, but we trust in the name of the Lord.”

God has an intentional plan for my children and for your’s (and for me and for you if we wanna get technical about it). I have no idea what or how God will use my kids someday, who they will influence, or the kinds of things they will be involved in that builds the kingdom of God. But God does.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139: 16

He knows my children and what is ahead for them far beyond anything I can dream up. I don’t want to get in the way of that so instead of stepping in and fixing things so my kids can be more comfortable, I want to align my plan with God’s and lean into trusting God with the discomforts they face and help train them (and myself) to celebrate God’s glory and His power at work in the hard.

2 comments found

  1. Bobi Ann – This is even incredibly relevant for people with “grown-up” kids, because the urge to “fix-it” is still very much alive. Thanks for this encouragement this morning.

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