10 Comments

    1. I think that you touched base on one big one in the video, Bobi Ann, the “happily ever after”. It’s not that God doesn’t want happiness for us, but that we can get stuck on the idea that once you fall in love everything will be great. It’s a relationship, which means work, give and take, investment, growth(and growth usually comes with growing pains). We get these images from everywhere, showing us the perfect marriages and relationships… books, movies, tv, our friends, our leaders… we naturally want to put our best foot forward – and by doing so we kick ourselves(or our friends) with it. We put on our best face, and because of that, our friend in a struggling marriage sees, not the battle against pornography, the struggle for balancing work and relationship time, or (something else – fill in the blank), but what we show, what we allow them to see. On the spins side, instead of using the Godly practices we see in other marriages as encouragement and inspiration(like family quiet times and serving together, praying together, and studies…), we can be quick compare them to our own marriages. Our comparison should be to scripture and see what God is telling us to do in our marriages. We often focus on how the spouse is told to act, according to the Bible, instead of our own instructions there.

      I think another misconception out there is that marriage will fix something. We don’t pray together as regularly as we should, but when we get married we’ll be together everyday and be able to do this. When we get married he’ll become the spiritual leader. Oh, he’s this or that, but this will change when we get married.

    1. When the expectations aren’t met we’re left let aggravated, down, discouraged, disillusioned, sometimes in a place of mistrust… perfectly tempered to explode a marriage, or be humbled and broken together before God so that He can heal us and teach us what love is really like and in that, what marriage is really all about. There we can learn to trust again, to be realistic, forgiving, adjust for each others gross short comings (I have many). Hope I’m making sense. I realize that I keep getting of topic and just keep running. I completely re-wrote this a time or two (but it got shorter too!).

    1. I think that, especially early on, our different ways of tackling house work caused some friction. We’ve both changed a little and adapted and outside factors have changed some, but it can still add small momentary friction from time to time. My husband’s grown more patient with me!

      I’m generally the more frugal one, and I’m thankful for that – two spenders would be difficult. So while it’s a difference, I’m thankful for it.

      We had different childhoods, for sure, so I think that it’s been interesting parenting over the last 3+ years. I wouldn’t really say that it’s caused friction, but I imagine it could in the future, perhaps. I am thankful for our different approaches though, because it helps to teach me that things don’t have to be just like my sweet childhood to be a good childhood, or “the right way” to raise a family. In fact, things rarely are what we expect or plan for, am I right? Life experiences thus far would definitely attest to this.

    1. I think that is a great quote! I absolutely do agree. This will not only Glorify God, but when we’re looking to God to meet our deepest needs, we aren’t being let down when our husband cannot meet them. It’s not his job to meet my deepest needs, he never could. But God definitely can! And as we die to self, our needs and desires change as well.

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