The Search for Acceptance
I love Jamie Helms. I’ve had the opportunity to serve the Kingdom with her from afar. We’ve crossed paths and loved the same people but never really served together up close. That’s starting to change. I love that I’m having more opportunities to spend time with Jamie. I asked her to share on my blog having no idea what a gifted writer she is. I’m so thrilled for you, my sweet readers, to read a little snapshot of Jamie’s story and a piece of her heart.
Growing up I did not know Jesus. I was a church-goer, and a fairly good girl by worldly standards. But I was in search of acceptance. Being the youngest of three children, I found myself wanting to be accepted by my older brother and sister. At school, I wanted to please teachers, and be accepted by classmates. When the tumultuous years of middle school hit, I dodged the pressures of drinking and smoking, but still longed to be accepted by boys. Awkward and lost, I entered high school still pursuing the desire to be wanted.
I felt excluded but I possessed a budding desire to be a writer. I wove tall tales about my life all the while hoping that someone would find me worthy. I continued this path throughout college. Joining a sorority made me feel insignificant and I found myself in a constant state of keeping up with the Jones’–a race I could simply not afford. With a failing attempt at juggling school and work and sorority life, I jumped at an opportunity to live overseas, school-free for a time. Even halfway across the world, my hunger for acceptance was ravenous.
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It was when I returned to school that I found Jesus in the middle of a church’s mission trip. I’ll never forget sitting on those warm wooden benches on a summer night, hearing Jesus’ call for me and truly thinking, “Are you sure you want me? Don’t you know where I’ve been?”
His answer was clear and pure: “Yes, daughter of the Most High King, I desire you. You are a new creation.” Praise JESUS! It took drinking and boys and a travel halfway around the world and a pastor inviting me to volunteer with students and a WHOLE host of other steps to get me to the realization that I was accepted, just as I am, before the Lord our God.
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Colossians 1:22b claims
“you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.”
And for the first time in my life, I believed it. I came down from that mountain top experience into the world that would try to convince me otherwise. I was attacked from within my closest comrades, and blasted with blows from loose acquaintances trying to convince me I was the same ol’ me. But I wasn’t.
Galatians 6:15 says
“it doesn’t matter whether we have been circumcised or not. What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation.”
Living in freedom during the past 12 years has been an exhilarating journey. God has given me the most amazing partner to walk alongside, and three young daughters to train in the way of Truth and light. As a family, we desire to train up a generation that can live a life that is set-apart from the world’s standards and seek His face in all areas of their lives.
Question: Do you connect with Jamie’s story? Have you sought acceptance in all sorts of areas but come up empty? How have you experienced God’s accepting love?
1 comment found
Oh my, Jamie. How your story resonated with me. I never felt like a “fit in” anywhere. In school. In high school youth group, etc. etc. I found Jesus when I was in the midst of postpartum depression, with my first child and after my husband and I had moved over two thousand miles away from the place where I grew up. I’m still a work in progress, but God has built my confidence in him, day by day. Thanks for sharing your story. Truly a gift reading it.