When God Stepped Into My Marriage
It’s been a while since I had a guest on my blog. I wasn’t really planning on having one this time either until my friend and prayer partner, Tami, shared with me the story of God intervening in her marriage and I couldn’t NOT share it with you. Most of you reading this don’t know Tami. She’s quiet and mostly behind the scenes but man, is she a Spirit-filled woman which makes this story of God’s intervention in Tami’s marriage so powerful. I know you will be encouraged (and I pray better equipped) just as I was.–Bobi Ann
by Tami Power
I married my husband while not walking with the Lord. It was always a good marriage – we were then and are now best friends. But it was a marriage of the world, not founded on God’s principals, nor committed into God’s hands
My husband claimed the label “Christian,” but didn’t actually have a personal relationship with Jesus.
For 22 years we existed in a world/flesh-centered marriage until Rich was struck with near fatal illness: 6 weeks in coma, 18 months to full recovery. It was through this experience that God held my hand and restored me fully to Himself and prayer partners around the world kept my husband and me before God.
Though Rich was healed physically, he was still searching and in need of spiritual healing.
As for me, my re-awakening in my relationship with Jesus led me to a new church where I met godly women. I wanted desperately for Rich to experience what I had experienced, and I began to push him to go with me.
We never had a fight about it, but we never agreed on it.
I continued to attend and found myself in a Titus 2 Bible study called Diamonds Are Forever. It was through this study of God’s Word, God worked and changed ME.
Here are some of truths and reminders that transformed who I was as a wife and ultimately would be part of what God used to transform our marriage.
- Titus 2 brings practical and relational teaching to give hope in the HOME. (Tit 2:3-5). The Theme: “Diamonds are Forever” showed me how I am being transformed from a lump of coal into a diamond. When invited, God transforms me (like He does a lump of coal) through the pressures of life and cuts the rough stone of my heart to reveal the beauty of the Spirit living inside of me (the diamond). The focus was on shaping me into a godly woman who was a brilliant jewel in my home.
- My unsaved husband was watching me–how my faith transferred into who I was as a wife. And I wasn’t something I could pull off apart from God’s work in my life. The hope I had, then and now, was to ask God to show me how to be a supporting, loving wife, cheering him on.
“Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.”Proverbs 14:1
- I was reminded that godly marriage is a covenant, not a contract (this is an important distinction that most people don’t understand)
- Genesis 2
- Genesis 12
- Malachi 2:13-14
- I need to be warrior for my family and for my home. I had never considered this…
- Exod 15:3 “The Lord is a warrior; Yahweh is His name.”
- Titus 2:3-5 “to be keepers at home.” Guardian, someone who stands guard or protects; vigilant, awake, keep the bad out; full of God’s strength
- Eph 6:10-12. The enemy is NOT my husband, but spiritual forces of evil
- 2 Tim 3: 6-7
- One of the most important lessons I learned was to “Practice the ministry of “shut up”” (To be clear…practicing the ministry of shut up does not mean I’m silent)
- The spoken word must be: true, kind, helpful
- Many times, the best response is quiet. Prayerful quiet.
- Nonverbals are as important: the rolling of the eyes, deep sighs, stomping out of the room
- What is between the husband and wife should stay there, not be spread around.
- Unless there is abuse
- Proverbs 31
- 1 Pet 3:1-6 (v4-6: “Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes. For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also beautified themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.)
- Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits”
- Respecting my husband is MY responsibility
- Eph 5:33;
- Hold in high regard; keep, maintain, persist; treasure, hold dear, care greatly for, count him precious, value
- And I finally put it all in God’s hands. I finally trusted God with my husband and my marriage
- Ps 94: 12-13: “Blessed is the [woman] whom You chasten, O Lord, And whom You teach out of Your law; That You may grant [her] relief from the days of adversity, Until a pit is dug for the wicked.”
- God’s part: discipline, instruct, teach, give power
- My part: be obedient, rest in adversity, learn, TRUST
- And I asked my friends to pray for me and my husband. That we could find a church home TOGETHER, and that GOD would work in his heart for HIS glory
One lady (a trusted friend) boldly told me that I just needed to come to their church and God would do the rest! I did… six months later (and a lot of prayer, and shutting up!), her husband invited mine to the Church’s annual Men’s night – a meal, worship and a message.
- My husband committed his life to Christ that night.
- We joined the church. And we joined a Sunday School Class
- We each had our own Bible studies.
- My husband immersed himself in the Word – learning it, taking it to heart.
- My husband connected with godly men that grew him and them.
- I continued to pray, learn and grow in God’s word. Practiced shutting up. Put respect into practice.
Now at 40 years married, it’s not always perfect, and God must remind me of these lessons all the time. But it took my husband’s salvation out of my hands to God’s, where it always belonged. And look at him now! Truly the Spiritual head of our home and godly husband I always desired. I’m so blessed!