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When God says Wait: My Journey with Secondary Infertility

I met Laura Nickelson in the Spring of 2012.  She sat in my Thursday morning Bible Study and as I got to know her precious heart, I was crazy about her.  Laura has a fantastic blog that inspires me to beautify my home and make it a sanctuary for my family. I can’t wait for you to read this beautiful story of what God is doing in Laura’s life.  

There are only a few people on this earth that know what I’m about to share with you. I’m not really sure why I’m sharing this right now, other that that I knew at some point in time I would share it. And when Bobi Ann asked me to consider writing a post, I knew it was time. Thanks for reading my story.

My Journey with Secondary Infertility

From the outside looking in, you’d think I would be perfectly happy. I mean, why not? I’m married to a wonderful man. Together we have a beautiful 3-year-old daughter and a lovely home. I have a growing business, lots of friends, an education and have traveled the world. And I love Jesus.

You’d probably never guess that this past year has been the hardest year of my life. Why? The big fat ugly diagnosis called secondary infertility.

Secondary Infertility Defined

What is secondary infertility {SI}? It’s defined as “when a man and woman do not conceive after one year of trying, despite having conceived children in the past without any problems.” {Source}

I had never even heard of such a thing until I found myself smack dab in the middle of it. {Although, surprisingly 11% of couples struggle with this often downplayed condition.}

After getting pregnant the first time, I just assumed that it would happen the same way again. But that’s just not the case, even though we’ve been told by doctors that we’re “highly probable candidates” for conceiving a second time.

I love how this mother so aptly described SI:

“I fully appreciate that I am infinitely luckier than all those who are unable to conceive at all – either through infertility, timing or sheer bad luck – but that doesn’t make the pain any easier to bear.

“What I could not have known before my daughter was born was that infertility is infertility, plain and simple, whenever it occurs. I had no idea that trying for a second child would be like starting with a blank page; that my accumulated wisdom and experience of motherhood would count for nothing in terms of conception.”

A Little History

Let’s go back a little bit in the story. Like way back. I was that little girl who played with baby dolls all day long and dreamed of being a mommy. As a young teen, I imagined getting married, preferably in my early 20’s. And I just knew that I’d have 4 kids by the time I was 30.

Well, God had a different plan. I didn’t meet my husband until I was 27, after years of praying for him. When we got married a year later, I knew I wanted to start a family pretty quickly. And we did. Within the year we were expecting our precious little girl. We were elated!

My blessing

My dream of being a mommy was finally coming true. I remember the first time I got to see Ava – after a traumatic 18 hours of labor, followed by a c-section at 35 weeks – but that’s a whole other story! I could not stop crying, because she was the answer to years of hoping and praying.

Fast forward a little more than a year to the spring of 2012. My husband and I decided it we were ready to expand our family. I just assumed it would be just as easy the second time around. But months passed before I saw my first positive pregnancy test. We were thrilled! Here we go again. It seemed like the perfect timing. Our kids would be 2.5 years apart.

But our joy quickly turned to sadness. After lots of pain, a few doctor’s visits, and a late night trip to the ER, we lost the baby. Heartwrenching, excruciating pain. When you’re going through a miscarriage and your body is losing a baby, there’s really no escaping the pain, emotionally or physically.

We tried again and got pregnant 9 months later.

Grammy, Ava and Me

And lost the second baby. Just weeks after my grandmother passed away this summer. Gut-wrenching.

My Source of Strength

I’m not going to sugar coat it and say that I was filled with hope or peace or joy at all during this process. Losing a baby is hard. I went through some very dark days of sadness. It is hands down the hardest thing I’ve ever been through.

I can’t wrap a pretty bow around my journey with secondary infertility. I don’t know all the lessons I’ve learned yet, or how the story will end. We’re still hoping and praying that God will bless us with another precious gift.

But I do know one thing. Jesus IS always there. And even when only sadness and anger come out of my mouth, I can still talk to Him.

I think before going into this season, I tried to make myself pretty before talking to Him. Or I waited until my emotions felt right before I could communicate. But honestly, the emotions have been pretty raw for the past year. I’ve learned to keep the lines of communication open even when it’s hard, even what all I have is hot, tear-filled cries.

I had to get over the idea that I had to come to Jesus with everything peachy, perfect. I now know that I can come to Him the mess that I am. And even when I don’t feel all warm and fuzzy inside, He’s still there.

“Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.” Psalm 105:4

Questions:

Have you experienced the pain and heartbreak of infertility?

Have you experienced other seasons of sadness or hopelessness?

How did you respond? What lessons did you learn through those trials?

47 comments found

  1. Pingback: The trial and my faith {a personal journey}

    1. I’ve experienced secondary infertility for over 3 years now. My husband and I wanted kids close together in age, so when our son was 9 months, we started trying. We’ve just started fertility treatments and I’m hopeful. This is what they call the “waiting period” before I take a pregnancy test.
      Secondary infertility is hard, because you feel its something you can’t talk about openly with family & friends who just don’t understand. And I really hate the questions, “when your son has a sibling”, or “do you not want to have any more?”, “are you going to have more kids?”, “your son would really benefit from having a sibling”. There is so much pain in these statements and questions that are unintended to harm.
      The only helpful thing I know to battle the storm is stay in Scripture, remember God’s faithfulness in past situations, and know that He loves me and Has a plan that I can’t understand. We can’t see past the end of our noses, but the Sovereign God not only knows the future, but holds it in His Hands! Have passages or verses committed to memory that you can recite to yourself in those dark moments.
      “Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.” -Psalm 68:19

      Reply

      1. April, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through secondary infertility. It’s so hard, but you’re right about scripture. I found that scriptures and worship songs got me through the hardest times of miscarriage and disappointment. I now have a 9-week-old baby girl sleeping in the next room. My oldest daughter turned 4 just 6 days after she was born. I share that to tell you to not give up hope. Cling to the hope that you will have another child and keep believing. Don’t give up!! I pray that you have a positive pregnancy test very soon!

        Reply

    2. In a way I have secondary infertility… That is, I have one child who I was able to conceive after having an ablation for endometriosis… After her birth my symptoms returned with a vengeance… When she was almost two we were ready for another one, I need another ablation… Afterwards my health deteriorated because of an autoimmune disease I have and I had a miscarriage at just a few weeks along … A year later I came back, ready to do another ablation and try for another baby when I was told I could not safely carry a baby and that I needed a hysterectomy… I know how incredibly blessed I am to be a mother of the most precious and perfect little girl, but not being able to give her a sibling or add to our family is killing me… It’s so hard and our only option is surrogacy which is very expensive… Anyways I wish for you the best! Thank you for sharing

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    3. Thank you so much for sharing your heart! I have a 3 1/2 year old and she is the light of my life. Last year in February I was 40 weeks and 2 days pregnant with our second and went into the hospital in labor where we found that she had gone on to be with Jesus. Our hearts will always be missing a piece since she won’t be with us until we all reunite in Heaven but we are learning to live life again. We decided to try to get pregnant again last year and are still unsuccessful. What a struggle. It’s so silent too. Everyone knew of our Naomi but to divulge why Sophia still doesn’t have a sibling on earth is so awkward. Trying to trust God. But oh so hard.

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    4. Hi, I’m also experiencing secondary infertility. I conceived my first very quickly and so I was s
      I found out I have a retroverted uterus which I didn’t have before (it can sometimes happen after the birth of a child, or a c section which I had). Nowadays doctors don’t seem to readily offer the operation which puts the uterus back into its upright position- where I live anyway. It was a very common operation back in the day. My grandmothers womb tilted backwards after her first baby and she couldn’t get pregnant for 5 years afterwards. She had the operation and conceived again straight after….she went on to have another four babies. I know a lot of people have a tilted womb and it doesn’t cause them any problems but it can hinder conception for a lot of people. I was feeling pretty low as I wasn’t sure what to do- my tubes were clear- but by an answer to prayer, I found a lovely Catholic doctor who I will go and see in Germany. She will put the uterus back in its original position if she thinks this is what is hindering my chances of conceiving….I am very grateful to have found her.

      Reply

      1. Wow, this is my exact story. I have a 3/12 year old and haven’t been able to conceive. My uterus is very retroverted. What is the procedure?

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        1. Hi Lauren!
          Unfortunately I couldn’t find someone who would do the procedure (ventrosuspension surgery). I was feeling very down about the secondary infertility but I also felt hopeful when I heard about this Catholic doctor (she is a Gynaecologist but also does some Naprotechnology – if you’ve not heard of it, it’s basically finding out the underlying problem for the infertility and trying to rectify the problem first- all naturally) God blessed me just before I saw her as I found out the day before that I was pregnant – she noticed I had mild Pcos and natural low levels of progesterone. Unfortunately the pregnancy ended in miscarriage but I am now pregnant again (26 weeks) and am taking progesterone medication as my levels are low (to stop a miscarriage as low levels cause bleeding and the womb to contract). I’m very thankful she spotted my low levels. The doctor said sometimes a retroverted uterus can be due to endometriosis as endometriosis can pull the womb back and sometimes cause it to stick to other organs. Often pain comes with this but sometimes one doesn’t always experience pain with endometriosis.I didn’t end up having a laporoscopy to check if this was what was causing the uterus to be tilted, as I had found out I was expecting when I saw her, but she would have fixed the problem of endometriosis to help the fact my womb is tilted. I hope I’ve made sense with what I’ve said. Secondary infertitlity is so hard but I was so grateful God put the right people in my path. I just felt no one near my hometown were really thorough with getting to the root of why I was experiencing infertility. Progesterone levels don’t really get checked here when you’re pregnant/ had miscarriages, for example. But this doctor really wanted to find out the root of the problem and fix it all naturally. If you want to ask anything if I haven’t made sense…..

          Reply

  2. I went through almost exactly the same experience. We had a 5 year old and wanted another child. I got pregnant very quickly but lost it at 8 weeks. It took me another 10 months to conceive again and I had a bad feeling from the start. At 16 weeks the AFP screening showed something abnormal. A level II ultrasound showed the baby had chromosomal abnormalities that were not compatible with life. Two days later I miscarried. I was so devastated I couldn’t even think about getting pregnant again. We decided to wait but God had other plans for us. Three months later, after I had just completed a sprint triathlon, I felt terrible so I went to the doctor. I was pregnant!!!! Hannah Katherine was born exactly one year to the day that I lost the second baby. We had another child after that and look back on those dark days and realize how lucky we are. Everything happens for a reason but sometimes you don’t know what they are for a long time. I pray for Laura and her husband. Don’t lose faith.

    Reply

    1. Kim, it means so much that you would share your story. I’m so grateful that the Lord blessed you with Hannah Katherine and another baby! This journey has definitely made me realize that each and every baby is a miracle and a gift from the Lord. Thanks so much for the encouragement!

      Reply

  3. I too experienced secondary infidelity and what ultimately turned out to be premature ovarian failure at age 32. I had a very hard time accepting that I would no longer be able to conceive a child unless I tried to reverse the menopause where there was no guarantee that it could be and there would be major hormonal drugs involved. We chose not to and have only 1 son. I totally understand the pain, grief and frustration. Praying for you..

    Reply

  4. Boy, do I ever know about God telling me to wait. My hubby and I tried for over a year to get pregnant to no avail. In June 2012, we cried out to God to help us understand why He had not given us a baby yet. It didn’t make sense when we were both healthy…or so we thought. The following month, my hubby started having some health issues. Health issues that could be life threatening if not found and actively treated. Our journey with his health has taken up so much of our time, energy, money, etc that looking back now, 18 months later, I can see God was intervening in our efforts to have a baby. And I can honestly say, I’m so thankful.

    Reply

  5. Wow. We had the same story. We became pregnant within a month for out first born daughter. But it took another year to become pregnant again and I lost that baby (on my birthday). Then it took another year to become pregnant with our second daughter. They are five years apart. They are now grown but it was a very trying time w/out any fertility options such ovulating help. I had to take my temperature every morning. But now I am elated that God blessed us with the perfect two girls for us. I think the hardest part was listening to the advice of people that did not understand secondary infertility.

    Reply

    1. Yes, the advice from others can be hurtful sometimes. I have to try to remember that they mean well. And I’m so grateful for the advances in technology. I’m under the care of a great doctor. Thank you for sharing your story, Janet, and for a glimpse of how it it will be OK on the other side of this journey. 🙂

      Reply

  6. I too went through this almost 15 years ago. We had a three year old son and desperately wanted another child. Three miscarriages and two years later I had my beautiful baby girl. I felt so selfish for wanting another child when God had already blessed me with one and I felt so alone during this time. It is so hard for us to understand that God has his own plans and his own time. Praying for God’s will in your life and peace for you.

    Reply

    1. It can be so lonely at times. And the guilt of already having a healthy child, and yet wanting another one so badly is hard. Thank you for your prayers and for letting me know that I’m not alone! 🙂

      Reply

  7. I was like you and wanted to get married in my 20’s and have 4 children by the time I was 30. I got married at 20 and got pregnant right away we were very excited, but almost right away it didn’t feel right. We lost our little one and of course were devastated. It took almost 2 years to get pregnant again and again right away it didn’t feel right. I begged and pleaded with God to save this little one. I was able to carry and deliver this baby, but with a whole bunch of complications. When she was 3 we lost another one. For years we tried. Went through fertility treatments, surgeries and super drugs, but no baby. When our daughter was 14 I got pregnant again and once again it didn’t feel right. I lost this little one also. Soon after I had to have a hysterectomy and knew that there would be no more babies. In 2011 we took in our foster/adopt baby that we prayed would become ours, but after us having her for a year CPS placed her with her birth mom. Broke our hearts. I pray that you are blessed with more children to love and care for. I can’t tell you what will help because it is different for everyone. Enjoy your little one and live your life to the fullest. Blessings 🙂

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  8. Dear Laura,Thank you for sharing your story! I’m so happy that you know the Lord and know that HE is your rock and anchor in the midst of the storm. I do know your pain of losing a baby. However, I have not gone through the trial of fertility. I just know that I had my first girl when I was 30 and then got pregnant a year later. Long story short, we had just gone through a Cat 5 hurricane and lost everything and I was under enormous stress. I was only 5 weeks, when I lost the baby. It was awful knowing the inevitable. A little bit of sadness, still remains today, but I know God had a plan for me. After that, my first husband died and I remarried. I wanted another baby, but after the miscarriage and me being older 37 to be exact, I felt that it wasn’t to be. We weren’t even trying, and surprise: we had boy/girl twins. I share this with you because what the doctors have told you is just information. It doesn’t mean that it has to rule your life. I think sometimes when we just rely on God and lay our burden on his alter and just wait. I know that is so hard and easy to say, but God knows your heart in the good, bad, and ugly. God taught me that it was HIS will and not mine. I’m so thankful to God for his grace and mercy. I will be praying for you as you go through this time. God Bless, Babette

    Reply

    1. Thank you Babette for sharing your story. I have definitely learned a lot through this journey and you’re right, it’s all about His will and His timing. I, too, am so thankful that I have Him to lean on. Not sure what I’d do without Him!

      Reply

  9. I too, have been diagnosed with secondary infertility. We quickly were pregnant with our son after only 2 months of trying. When he was 18mths old, we started trying again. Now, 7 years later…we still pray every night for another miracle. I was able to get pregnant March 2012, but miscarried after only 7 weeks. Our son desperately wants a sibling, he doesn’t understand why all his friends have siblings and he does not. It truly breaks my heart. We are about to undergo IVF for the 1st time and this summer we will be taking classes to become foster parents…in hopes we will be able to adopt a child. Thank you for sharing your story and I pray you will someday have your take home baby. <3

    Reply

    1. Kylie, thank you for your prayers… I will be praying for you too! My daughter asks for a baby sister every now and then as her friends are beginning to have younger siblings. It’s so hard to want to give them that gift and not be able to! Praying that you will be blessed with another baby very soon!!

      Reply

  11. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I also envisioned myself with 4 children by 30! That was my plan and I found that God had other plans for our family. We just reached 3 years of trying for our second child. We started trying again just before out daughter (also Ava!) turned 1. She will be 4 in a few weeks. She has been asking for a baby brother/sister and it’s at times just heart breaking that we can’t give that to her yet. At times I’ve completely lost hope but my faith and hope is slowly returning. I’m so grateful for those that are willing to share their struggle, especially with secondary infertility. Praying that you guys are able to bring another beautiful baby into your family!

    Reply

  12. Thank you so much for sharing your story! I have felt so alone in my journey and didn’t even know of the term secondary infertility. I have a 4.5 year old little girl and I’m so thankful for her! Much like baby A, she often asks for siblings and in the past two weeks has developed imaginary siblings – Emma and hawk. Since Brooke, I have had an ectopic pregnancy which damaged my Fallopian tube permanently. More than a year passed and I was so surprised to learn that we were pregnant. I didn’t know that was possible after the ectopic. We were on the brink of telling loved ones when the baby’s heart stopped beating and I ended up in the ER. My heart desires so much to have another little one and I know God knows the desires of my heart, but I’m having a hard time maintaining faith. 🙁 thank you for bringing SI to my attention.

    Reply

  13. Laura, God ask us to speak of our messes through his message. It took great courage to share this story. I know because I’ve been battling this for 8 years. I got married at 21 had my first son 11 months later (totally unplanned). When my son was 5 me and my husband decided we wanted to expand our family. Its been 8 years and many negative pregnancy tests latter and still nothing. We have been through many tests, which all were good and showed us very healthy. I know God has great plans for my family, and I’m not giving up hope. It’s great to know that we’re not alone in this journey. God bless you and your family.

    Reply

  14. I also have a 3 year old and just had my 2nd miscarriage since we started TTC almost 2 years ago. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s just nice to know that I’m not alone in this place of not knowing what’s happening with our family, and listening to my daughter talk about her “little sister” that we’re not sure will ever be. I also have a wonderful life and do appreciate every bit of it.

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  15. I’m currently going through the same thing. We have a three year old and she asks about a brother and wanting one. It’s heartbreaking knowing that as hard as we’ve tried, we just can’t give her that. But Gods in control and I just pray that he answers our prayers by a miracle! Thank you is much for sharing this!

    Reply

  16. I’m almost 60 and even all these years after finding out I couldn’t have children, it is still incredibly painful. My heart breaks for what everyone who has shared is going through, and pray for answered prayers for all.

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  17. Oh, sweetie. I feel for you! We got pregnant immediately and had our daughter no problem. A year later, I was pregnant again. This ended in a miscarriage at 14 weeks that I passed at home. About four months later I had a chemical pregnancy. After that, I COULD NOT get pregnant. Month after month of trying. Eventually, I gave it to God and felt a peace about it. At this point our daughter was 4. Surprisingly, it was then that I got pregnant, and we had a little boy. Almost three years later, we were surprised to find out I was pregnant, and we had a girl. Two and a half years later, I was pregnant again. I miscarried, and also found out I had a dermoid cyst on my ovary so had surgery for that while I had the d and c. Seven months later, I was pregnant again. That pregnancy went smoothly until this August when we found out at a routine OB visit that our son had gotten his cord twisted, and he was stillborn at almost 24 weeks. I didn’t have a period yet, but two months to the day that we lost him, I found out I was pregnant again. I had multiple ultrasounds, and saw the heartbeat, but ended up having a miscarriage, and had a d and c right before this past Thanksgiving. I know what you mean. The children you have are a blessing and a comfort, but they don’t take away the pain from the children you have lost or or trying and can’t have. You will be in my prayers,

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  18. Thank you for sharing your story laura! Im not sure if you could ever know how much it means to me. My husband and I had our daughter at 18 (me) and 19 (him). We fell pregnant straight away what a surprise she was! We decided since we were both young we would have our babies close together. We began trying when our daughter was 8 months old. 3 miscarriages later and our daughter is now 3. But due to me being so young and conceiving so easily no doctor was ready to help us until this year. So far 2 blood tests and I have an ultrasound coming up to see my ovaries. After the first test it told me what I had suspected. Im not ovulating . Its so hard to be turned away from doctor after doctor because you dont fit the mold.

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  19. Laura, you are not infertile as you are getting pregnant. Has your Ob doctor done any kind of workup to see why are are losing the babies?You need to have a chromosomal study done to see if there is a problem there. Look up MTHFR and you will get alot of information I bet you have never heard of.This is a mutation on a gene that can cause miscarriages.If you have this you will need to take Aspirin 81 mg daily to present clotting at the very least. If you have a severe case you will need to be on LOVENOX daily thru out your pregnancy.Just wanted to mention this to you as this is just coming to the awareness of Ob physicians. I wish you all the best in the world and I hope this will shed some light on this for you.

    Reply

  20. It has been a blessing for me to find your story. Thank you so much for sharing. It is such a comfort to know that I am not alone. I too, like you and all the other brave women that have shared their stories, have battled with SI. I have been blessed with two wonderful boys, but have longed to have a third child since the moment my youngest was born. After having them, I never dreamed there would be such heart ache and pain trying to have another. Now at the age of 39 and eight years later, much to my surprise I found out I was pregnant in January. However, I miscarried at 6 weeks. I have struggled the last few weeks with grief, anger and sadness, but know I must rely on my faith to get me through. He knows our pain and is always there to help us, even when we are not strong enough to believe it. I will pray for you and hope that your prayers will soon be answered. God bless you!!

    Reply

  21. It’s been almost 8 years of secondary infertility here. It took almost seven of those years to come to a place of contentment. I know that my amazing heavenly father has more children in store for us. They have been practically dropped on our doorsteps all these years . I didn’t realize until recently that those were my answers to the prayer “Can’t I have another”. I may not birth them as I did with my precious Hadassa. But as long as our hearts are always tender to those children and parents who can’t be together for whatever reason, God will always bring my family more children. Secondary infertility has been extremely painful, but we not been going through it, I don’t know that we would have been open or able to help others children all these years. We were never promised a life ease in Christ. But we are promised that through all the pain, he will find a way to give us beauty for ashes. Thank you for sharing your story.

    Reply

  22. We’ve been suffering from si for almost 5 years now. We were told we would have to have IVF to conceive. We finally got pregnant on our own after exactly 4 years of nothing happening. We lost that baby two weeks after finding out we were pregnant. And nothing since then. (7 months)

    Reply

  23. Your story really touched me.. My husband and I have a son who will be 4 years old next month (oh my gosh, how the time flies….) I have been off of birth control for 3 years and we have been trying to get pregnant for almost 2 years.. We were just started on clomid recently and we are hoping this works for us.. The pain of infertility is so hard to explain to those who do not understand. And I can honestly say, as much as I hate to, that I am extremely jealous and heartbroken every time I hear of someone finding out they are pregnant or just announcing the birth of their baby. No matter how happy I am for them.. In the past 6 months, my sister, my brother, and 5 of my really close friends have all announced their pregnancies.. And as happy as I am for them, it has been so hard that it happened for them without trying and we have been trying so hard and we can’t get pregnant.. I have not suffered a miscarriage, and I can’t imagine the pain you have gone through and I am so deeply sorry for your losses… Thank you for sharing your story..

    Reply

  24. Thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I have struggled with infertility as well. Our journey to our daughter was a struggle with a loss along the way. The loss was the hardest thing I have ever been through but it forced us to put our faith in God. We are now struggling with infertility again and trying to remind ourselves to trust in The Lord and his plan but it is a struggle every day. I have to pray daily for patience to deal with everyone asking when we will be having another child.

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  25. hi. just read your story. I got married in 2012 and prior to that time, I had surgery to remove fibroid after which my doctor told me that I had polycystic ovarian syndrome and endometriosis. but despite these diagnosis I trusted God for a baby and became pregnant 2 months after the weeding only to lose the pregnancy at 7weeks. was devastated but God grace I got pregnant again after 2 months. my baby is almost 2 years and i’v been trying to get pregnant again for almost 6 months now. I understand how you feel. through all this i’v learnt to trust God and His plan for my life. you are not alone. praying for you

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  26. reading this is so beautiful n painful at the same time.it has given me the comfort that there are other woman going through exactly what i am.I have a 7 year old son & we only started trying for baby number 2 before he turned 4.This painful journey is on -going for 3 years….but despite everything i believe it WILL happen in God’s time.

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  27. Thanks so much for sharing! I have a ministry called Moms in the Making for those going through infertility and several of the girls in the group are dealing with secondary. I appreciate you sharing your story!

    Reply

  28. I appreciate your story and commend you on your bravery to share it while you’re still walking through this season of your life. My husband and I have dealt with infertility the past 2 years and have never conceived a child. I can relate to your pain and sadness but also the concept of God’s timing. Trust is such a huge part of that for me. We live in a society of instant gratification and want what we want on our schedule not God’s schedule. Praying to relinquish my wants and needs for my life and praying for God’s will is what has helped me let go. I know God has a plan for me and He has a plan for you too. We just have to “wait” as you put it. Again, thank you for sharing.

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  29. Thank you for sharing – I too am going through secondary infertility and am finding myself struggling between the hard days when I just don’t understand (it was so easy to conceive it first who is now 4 1/2) and telling myself to be content because I already have one and we are foster parents who hope to adopt so I know we have many other options. Plus I should be grateful – I already have such a beautiful child and there are so many who can’t have any.

    But it is still so hard. And I’m also a midwife so most days I’m with pregnant women or their babies and infertility is robbing me of the joy I used to have in my job.

    Anyway – its nice to read your story and all the comments – if nothing else just to know the path of SI doesn’t have to be so lonely.

    Reply

    1. Thank you for the wonderful story. I have been carrying the secondary infertility burden for 11 years. I have a wonderful 11 year old and have adopted two others, 7 and 5 years who are absolutely gorgeous. I still want so badly to have two children and i have been burdened with this for years. My marriage has all but gone cold. I love the Lord and i have argued with him and then cried out to him and then waited on him for this to happen. Reading your story comforts me and assures me that he is in control. I have also tried IVF but it didnt take.

      Reply
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