The S word

The S word

My husband has been preaching through a sermon series entitled “Family Matters.” As he was preparing, he asked me if I would write something about submission.

I sat down and this is what I wrote:

When I first began a growing relationship with God, I could get behind most of what I read in the Bible but when I came across the verse in Ephesians 5 instructing wives to submit to their husbands, I was repulsed.

I was my own woman and no man was going to be the boss of me! I felt like taking a sharpie to that word in the Bible and though I didn’t I might as well have because my heart had no intention to obey it.

However, as I continued to mature in my relationship with God, my heart began to change. Romans 12:2 says to “no longer conform to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind to know God’s pleasing and perfect will for your life.”

God began to transform my heart and mind even before I ever married.

What I discovered as I studied God’s word is that as a believer (not just a wife), if I was going to be a committed follower of Jesus, I had to learn to deny myself.

Luke 9:23 say “And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”

That’s submission, y’all—denial of self. Not because what I want doesn’t matter but because God has structured the marriage relationship to reflect our relationship with Jesus. The husband is to love his wife like Christ loved the church and a wife is to follow her husband (like I would follow Christ) by denying myself and following the leadership of my husband.

My reaction to the word “submission” has not only been altered, it has been completely transformed—from repulsion to delight. I not only want to submit to my husband because he seeks to honor and love me in the way Christ loved the church but more importantly because God has continued to shape and sanctify me as I grow to know and please Him more.

I have come to understand that my own relationship with God has been the most influential part in changing my heart and thoughts on submission.

I don’t usually do this but I wanted to share with you my husband’s sermon on what biblical submission looks like. You may be like I was with a very flawed view of what God intends for submission.

There are not many pastors who take on the topic of submission but this is one of the best explanations I’ve heard. I hope you will be ministered to by my favorite preacher (and person).

Share with me in comments how you feel about submission and how your view may have changed throughout the years.

4 comments found

  1. My husband read to me the verses that described a Christian husband. He said he wanted to be that person with me. It was easy to submit because we were both following God’s plan for a happy marriage.

    1. It is, but what get me is when it’s hard–not everyone has a husband that loves them that way and I’ve always wondered where the motivation comes from. But then I realized as a committed follower of Jesus, the motivation doesn’t come as a response to my husband’s behavior (which certainly makes it easier) but it comes from my surrender to God.

  2. I never seemed to have a negative idea of submission, but I also never seemed to have a model of what that even looks like. (As a PK, that seems so sad to say!) I have now pieced together a few bits and pieces of what parts of it may seem like, but it really must be so unique for each of us.

  3. Thank you for sharing what Biblically defines submission. Your explanation is deep & refreshing! I like the Scriptures that bring one to the bottom line of submission ~ self denial. And how great of Pastor Jared to preach on this subject with your help!


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